The dress was a labor of love, created by my adoring grandmother. She chose the pattern, the style, and the fasteners. I remember feeling like a million dollars wearing it into Ms. Erickson's kindergarten class in Emporia, Kansas.
As the day progressed, my hair became tangled in the snap at the top of the back of my neck. I assume that it began with one tendril that looped around the snap. During sporadic intervals, I would take a few strands of my hair, and try to "unloop" that part from the snap. The more I tried to untangle my thick mesh of curls from that cursed snap, the bigger snarl I would create.
That afternoon, I went home and showed it to my mother. She simply unfastened the snap, and freed the giant mat of hair from it's prion. I was left with an entanglement the size of my fist. My mom painfully, albeit carefully, used half a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears on my rats nest as she tried to straighten my mess.
This reminds me of the problem I have with forgiveness. This situation will arise where I have been wronged (the tendril in the snap.). Instead of forgiving, I will start to make excuses (trying to take a few strands and unloop that part from the snap.). "That sin is too big for me to forgive, God will have to forgive them." "If they really loved me, they wouldn't have ever done that." Then, I'm left with the pain of the "tangle."
I want to be a strong example of the Christian life. Yet, the one line "And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us" in the Lord's Prayer can really give me the heebiejeebies. If I am to be forgiven as I forgive, I'm not truly forgiven. If I turn to God and ask Him to "unsnap" the burden from my life, I will not have to be weighed down by my burden.
I don't want to seem "preachy." I don't want to oversimplify the enormity of the burdens in your own life. I just think that I, personally, carry around weight that should be thrown overboard. I worry about things that I can't control, and obsess over scenarios that may never happen. But, as a Christian, I should occupy my time with more constructive objectives.
Perhaps the next time I am "wronged," I'll turn to God to free my burden from being fastened upon my heart.
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