In a Just World

If I had omnipotent power at my place of employment, I would enact the following policies:

1) Under no circumstances is the workplace microwave to be used for your offending odoriferous leftovers. I am so tired of opening the microwave, only to be greeted with your Penne Pasta & Eau de Derriere sauce. Please, I'm begging you... stop.

2) You're sleeping with the boss? You're fired. Enough said.

3) Gossips will not be tolerated. When gossip makes it back to me, which is inevitably does, I will go from person to person to track down the instigator. I will then help the instigator pack.

4) You will be paid according to your productivity. I'm so tired of those that blatantly do nothing, and are paid more than their hard working co-workers, simply because of favoritism or tenure. (or sleeping with the boss. Enough said.)

That's it in a nutshell. Easy enough. Don't offend others. Get paid according to your output. If only it were that simple.